Archive for the ‘Disappointment’ Category


Satisfaction Through Education


I love the nursing profession... never will I be a doctor to disrespect a nurse!

I’m back in school, y’all!

Now, some may say that my choice of institution of higher education is unacceptable. Believe me, if ever there was an internal elitist, I’d be her. I don’t care where you’ve been or what you’ve done, so long as you’re a decent human being with a sense of purpose, but I, myself, had better be involved in everything high-end, or else I’m nothing… in my mind, obviously.

What I’m finding at Kaplan College is that I’m being allowed to ask questions again! I was never able to do that in a university without being made to feel stupid… unless I was in AFROTC classes, and then, I was just too afraid to ask anything. No, this feels like a community college at a higher level of commitment. Let’s chalk that last part up to the amount of money we’re all spending, though! haha

Tomorrow (today) is our first exam: therapeutic communication and vital signs. Anyone care to tell me that I don’t know my material? Didn’t think so.
HOWEVER, you’d never know it by looking at my study guides! Drove me nuts today! I missed five questions on my first study guide, and then another ten on my second (though, in all fairness, I did not complete the second study guide and only graded what I’d done for informational purposes… will correct it and replace grade, thank goodness!).

Seriously, with the way my grades went south my last semester in university, some two years ago, any kind of nursing degree program needs to see a sharp, but consistent, upward trend in my comprehension and performance. This is not such a good start, wouldn’t you agree??? Furthermore, what will any given medical school think?! I mean, that’s my ultimate goal! Surgeons aren’t just hatched overnight, you know!!!

So, with all this in mind I’ve decided to really give myself a little bit of a break on the first exam. Honestly, there are six exams in this first course alone, so SOMETHING’S got to come along later on in the quarter that will only be benefitted by my stumbling at this early juncture.

The point of this blog-thingie is this:  THIS is what I was missing in my life.


Forget dating, forget friends (though I love you all dearly!), forget money, performance (though I also love that dearly)… MEDICINE and LEARNING are simply what allow me to thrive. Like I tell anyone who meets me, it’s just in my blood. (Don’t take that literally, either.)

Ever since moving back in with my parents in early September, before starting school, I was feeling a certain cloak of dread, that things would never change, and my cross-country moves were all in vain. Despite my efforts to attempt being upbeat, it simply wasn’t happening. I talked to spiritual counselors online, I made a new friend with widely different but respectable perspectives, I prayed all the time, I was reading my Bible looking for answers. Something simply wasn’t in place.


My brain isn’t clouded by emotional stresses of a relationship, no drama, no craziness, but only my thirst for knowledge. I may not be able to sleep right this second, but let’s chalk that up to excitement, shall we??? I still have to push myself to study… often… but it’s absolutely worth it, because I’m learning exactly what I WANT to learn.

*sigh of relief*

Isn’t finding your life’s purpose exhilarating?!

In addition to being in an exciting environment of learning, I’ve joined BE SURE TO CHECK IT OUT! What a motivator. And it’s FREE!!!


The Great Decline/Nation of Nitwits


*** DISCLAIMER: I do not claim to be a fantastic writer. Only opinionated. And angry. ***

'Nuff said.

I read an article the other day entitled “Putting Our Brains on Hold” written by a Bob Herbert for Mr. Herbert brings up a very interesting point in that our nation once truly valued education, but I think he fails to fully explore it.

My take:
If one were ever to take a moment to read The United States Constitution, I think he or she would find that it is a beautiful, well thought-out, masterfully written piece, balanced between law and reason, and fully supported by eloquent use of the English language. (Go figure.)

Our nation was not a nation founded on slander-laden campaigns for office, scantily clad celebrities (or wannabes, as truth my have it), or media-driven war. In fact, our founding fathers were scholars; highly respected members of society that were chosen to be leaders because of their education and feel for the needs of the public. While some may have been wealthier than your average citizen, many that contributed to the structure of the government were not. The idea of democracy and the foundation of our government was carefully thought out, even to include checks and balances on each branch so that one entity may not become more powerful than another. The federal government worked hand-in-hand with the states instead of over them, so that more may be accomplished… and much was.

So what’s happened with today’s government? Where in the Constitution was it mandated that the federal government stick its nose into every single matter concerning the People? And why in the world do we, as citizens, allow it? Furthermore, are we even able to look at today’s “leaders” and respect them? Seriously, what have they done?

I’ve witnessed the obscenity that is government-regulated healthcare firsthand. Every day I walk into work at a pharmacy with certifiably fantastic pharmacists, and they’re bound hand-and-foot by the stupid insurance companies that have NOTHING to do with the individual patient’s care. Hm… maybe that’s because insurance companies are NOT providers of healthcare procedures or counseling. If you were to call an insurance agent and ask the individual his or her professional opinion on any given medical problem, you’d likely get hung up on. They probably don’t know anymore than the average medical consumer about healthcare… with the exception of cost or how to play the system!!!!!!!
DO NOT misunderstand me: I completely agree with some form of regulation and standardization of care, but I do NOT agree with the outrageous and BLATANT scheming of the insurance and pharmaceutical companies with the federal government. Decision-making government officials are not healthcare experts for a reason. Their interest is in “law”, not medicine. How many political science majors do you know that would skip out on a debate in order to, say, watch a wound debridement? Exactly.

All of this ties into my ever-burgeoning pet peeve: my generation.

Instead of Generation X, Y, or Z, let’s go with something a little bit more appropriate.

Generations that follow my own even go beyond that, which is a veritable mindf***.
Where is your passion? Why is the collective mindset that we are only put on this earth to make money and acquire stuff?
What in the world has happened to a nation founded by scholars that we now care more about what Snooki has to say… about ANYTHING?!
People: she’s a low-class, too-tanned, uneducated skank ho that needs to get a handle on her drinking. Who honestly gives a rat’s behind about the high school-like drama on those stupid reality shows about┬á“who kissed who” and “I can’t believe what she’s wearing!”. You know, there are much more important things going on in the world that involve a few more brain cells.
Or, wait, have you killed all of those brain cells by constantly popping your cousin’s Xanax, drinking 5 Hour Energy, and smoking “medical” marijuana?


The bottom line is this:
America is doomed. Nothing will bring us back from this downward spiral into idiocy and selfishness. Without a passion for others, or even the slightest yearning for knowledge, there is absolutely ┬áNO WAY that America will stay the #1 superpower. No, China has us in its clutches, and we’re all going down. One blog isn’t going to invoke a revolution; I’m not stupid. If one person, though, can see that the passion being put into this letter is something of a blessing and a curse, thank Jesus.

For further reading, give “The Summoned Self” by David Brooks for a try. I can’t be the only one that feels that I have a purpose to fulfill on earth. You have no idea how frustrating actually feeling is… unless you’re one of the people I need to meet and collaborate with.

This little “blog” thing is flawed, anyway! I have neither the patience, nor the time, to sit down here and spill my entire thought-process into my Mac. There’s just no way. I’m hoping that you will comment and ask questions, though, for clarification. In fact, I prefer that this little rant remain raw, so that anyone who has half a brain that reads this will have no other choice BUT to hit me with a “WTH?” and allow me to further elaborate on some of the MANY issues I barely even tapped on.


At this point, I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out how to make this blurb more clear. In truth, I don’t know how. There are a million different ideas swimming around in there that I simply cannot put into words right now. All I know is that I am furious with anyone who’s content to sit back and watch this train wreck happen. I’m furious with the government, I’m furious with our “role models”, I’m furious with my generation, and all the generations that follow. There has been no progress, there has been no change for the better. As God as my witness, and my mentor, I will not sit back and be satisfied with my surroundings… I’m going to get off of my ass and do something.